What the Producer Said, On the Seventh Day

I took last week off to celebrate our country’s independence. I split my time between Sag Harbor and various parties at houses of friends and family.

Hollywood, much like advertising, is filled with nouveau riche.  People who are experiencing money for the first time, and in some cases the first generation to have financial success.  With that comes excess.

Here is where the two roads split.  If you are a Hollywood Producer, showing excess is good.  It means you know how to make money for yourself and others.  In advertising, showing excess is bad. It means you know how to take money and thus take money from others.

So, here’s what.  For you account leaders who are cracking that 200K+ sound barrier, let me offer a few tips for keeping the respect of your Clients.

An Explorer II is Still a Rolex

Your Clients tend to be surrounded by people who actually work for a living. They don’t want to see you walking into a meeting wearing a Rolex You buy yourself absolutely NO credibility by choosing to wear that to the meeting.  Keep an IronMan in your desk for just such occasions.  No one wants an agency with people who have time to climb mountains anyway.

Don’t be Norm if the Steaks Cost $40 Bucks

I have a colleague who is on a first name basis with everyone at The Grill in Beverly Hills. My first thought was, if I were his Client I would wonder why he is so familiar with this place and how much of my money paid for the relationship.  By all means, have your spot.  But when it comes to Client lunches or dinners, get a good reco from a friend.  If the food is good, you’ll be popular with the only person you need to impress that day.

Take the Rental

Howard Hughes was infamous for the jalopies he drove.  This was not because of his thrift, but more for his desire to remain non-ostentatious.  I know someone who lost an account because he decided to drive his Client in his Mercedes SL 500.   It wasn’t that his Client couldn’t afford to have a car like his. It was that his Client chose not to have a car like his. Clients always believe it is their money that bought you whatever you have.

Remember, You’re Still Turtle, not Ari Gold!

It kills me to watch people who act like they’ve had a personal assistant their entire lives.  I personally have never needed anyone to tell me where my next meeting was, and NEITHER DOES YOUR CLIENT.  You wanna play Ari Gold in the office, fine.  But when your Client is on campus, NEVER…EVER…ask your assistant what room you’re in, or when lunch is coming.  Not only do they expect you to know that, they kind of get off on the fact that you know that.  Let them have their fun.

Keep it Green

The Gold, Platinum and (….well F that, I am not talking to anyone who has a Black) card are Amex’s way of demonstrating Darwin’s theory of evolution.  The thing is, your Client wants to always feel like she’s walking a little more upright than you.  To that end, as you shell out $350 bucks a year simply to have your name stamped in grey plastic, remember to keep that “Get Into Delta Club Free” card sheathed when you are with your Clients.   They are likely to be rolling with a company Diner’s Club or Discovery card.  You whipping out your Platinum will only make their career choice seem that much more specious.

The point is, your Clients already feel like hanging out with you is the best part of their job.  You don’t want them to think you actually get paid more than they do to have all this fun?

And, fade to black.